No exercise! Just money! But we’ll talk about that later!
I talked to a friend about writing this blog yesterday, but was unprepared for how angry I was going to become in the process of doing the research for it. Heads up — “research” is code for searching images on Google and Pinterest.
If I could harshly judge body-shaming memes all day and get paid for it, I totally would. And then I would wonder if a woman created those memes.
I was going to write a funny piece about this, but I can’t. I hate that there is an entire industry dedicated to convincing women they must create the perfect "wedding experience." I hate the industry that stalks pregnant women, insisting they don’t love their as-of-yet unborn baby enough if they don’t buy ALL THE THINGS.
I hate the industry that tells women they will never be perfect because food.
I don’t understand it. I don’t know why there aren’t more women who are just pissed, all the time. That’s a lie. I do know. It’s because they’re busy trying to do all the things, support all the people, and frequently, they’re believing the messages bombarding them all the time.
“Suck it up so that someday you won’t have to suck it in.”
“Sweat is fat crying.”
“My motivation to get fit: I refuse to be anyone’s fat ex-girlfriend.”
No shit — found all of those quotes on images in about three minutes, just idly surfing around.
Now I’m sad. I’m sad because women are bullied. I’m sad because I’m currently trying to be healthier and somehow feel guilty about it. I’m sad there’s a part of me that really does think it’ll be easier to love myself if I weigh less. I’m sad I’ve told countless people one of my primary reasons I want to lose weight is because I’m tired of being the fat friend. I’m sad that I’ve beat myself up with the messages that make me want to cry when I think about my daughter taking any of them seriously.
I guess I should go back to the beginning of this post. The moral of this story is that no, you should not sign up to lose 5–40 pounds over a three-month period without having to exercise. You will either be not shitting at all, or shitting all the things. You’ll be angry. You will see food as the enemy.You will be stepping on the scale all the freaking time, having been convinced that your weight loss is the ONLY thing that matters. You will struggle not to hate yourself.
Here’s my advice: Don’t do that.