It’s not good enough to be sorry for being sorry any more. If you’re not apologizing for literally EVERYTHING you do, you’re giving women a bad name.
A day done right would include moments like these:
Wake up. Apologize to the door frame you bump up against on your way to use the bathroom.
Flush toilet and immediately feel regret for potentially waking up anyone, anywhere.
Pour yourself a cup of coffee. Despite living alone, apologize profusely to your empty apartment because you finished up the last of the creamer.
Go grocery shopping. Say at least 15 “I’m sorry”s as other people routinely cut you off in the aisles. When paying for your groceries, apologize for not remembering your reusable bags. Further apologize for not getting your credit card back in your wallet fast enough. Make sure to also say you’re sorry to the bagger for not having bagged your groceries yourself.
While driving, apologize non-verbally to others on the road for having to merge by looking sheepish and bowing your head. Include several conciliatory waves. Also, be sure to roll down your window and yell out an apology to the guy behind you honking wildly, as you idle ahead of him waiting for a pedestrian to cross the street in front of you.
Use a public restroom. When exiting the stall, murmur apologies to any other women in the bathroom for no particular reason. If you use the hand dryer, also be sure to apologize for the noise the blowing air made when it shuts off.
Eating at a restaurant? Apologize if you have to ask for silverware, water, or anything, really. If your server has seemingly abandoned you, find an employee of the restaurant and apologize for interrupting whatever that person was doing, and then further apologize for needing to speak to the server who has blown you off. If you have leftovers, be sure to apologize for wanting to take them home. On your way out of the establishment, if you are heading out the door as someone else is coming in, it is definitely necessary to apologize to the person in your path. It doesn’t matter whether you had started through the door first.
Obviously, any and all apologies must be significantly magnified in the event you have an exchange with a man (especially a white man).
I sincerely apologize for not having more examples. I’m sorry I didn’t have this posted twelve hours ago. If this post wasn’t everything you hoped it would be, I am so sorry. It’s probably my fault if you had a bad day; I know that. I apologize.