Kat Atwell is a freelance writer, blogger & stage presence telling stories that deliver laughs, validation & community.

Mental Health | Wellness & Self Image | Experiential & Reviews

College.

Have I written about my relationship with school before? It's convoluted. I've always wanted to graduate from college and get my degree. I graduated from high school 19 years ago.

Tried and failed. Tried and failed. Tried and failed.

As I've gotten older, I've come to realize that needs to be rewritten.

Tried. Tried. Tried.

It's been a significant journey, and I'm sure there's a reason behind why I didn't float through school, get a degree, and likely take for granted that I tucked away a Bachelor's degree and went about the rest of my life.

I just wish I knew what that reason was, you know? Maybe I'm learning grace, or self-acceptance, or how not to go about being a perfectionist.

What I do know is that I did call a college today, and had a very straightforward talk with an advisor who wants to help me succeed. Instead of focusing on all the reasons that I don't want to go back to school (my last attempt was three years ago) due to anxiety, I need to focus on the hope I have, and that part of me that keeps saying I can.

I want to be a writer. I have no idea how to go about doing that, and I don't know what that means, exactly. I mean, technically, I'm a writer already. I've got this blog, I correspond with friends by email, I journal. I think what I mean to say is that I'd like to write things that help people, the way so many authors have helped me. I love getting lost in books. I love forfeiting sleep because reading something has become THAT important to me.

Long story short: I'm going back to school again. It's me time.

Quandary.

Tortuga