Kat Atwell is a freelance writer, blogger & stage presence telling stories that deliver laughs, validation & community.

Mental Health | Wellness & Self Image | Experiential & Reviews

Astounded.

I've had 2,500 hits on my blog! That blows my mind. Thanks for continuing to read, kids. :)

The past three days have been spent in an intensive workshop as part of my "continuing education" for a license I hold at work. It was titled "The Human Element," and there was a lot (a LOT) of information crammed into 24 hours. I'm exhausted.

I learned, among other things, that I victimize myself way more than I allow myself to acknowledge. My life is hard, and it's not my fault; that's the way I've felt for years - decades, more than likely. The workshop was eye-opening in several ways, but this one resonated the most loudly. I don't want to be a victim in my own life. I don't want to spend my days blaming others about decisions I haven't chosen to make. And furthermore, I don't want to waste even more time bemoaning the fact that I haven't stood up and made the hard decisions. It's a dance with difficult steps.

It's exceedingly hard to recognize weaknesses I have without judging myself for having had them, if that makes sense. This year, I know there's a lot of change coming. I know that I need to look toward these changes with love and acceptance, and a realization that these changes are for the best for me, and others in my life. As most can attest to, we are our own harshest critics, and the exercises over the past three days have proven that to me in spades. I am cruel to myself. I would never, ever want anyone to treat themselves or others the way I treat myself.

Why do we allow ourselves to do that? Why would anyone think that sort of thought process is acceptable? At what point can we stand up for ourselves and say, "No more. I deserve more than I'm giving myself?" Ugh. It's hard to stand back and be conscious and gentle and accept that it's OK to move forward and make the necessary changes for me, which don't correlate with the necessary changes I think will impact other people.

I realize I'm speaking cryptically, but it's OK. I have no doubt there are countless folks who could take this same conversation and insert it into their lives in any number of ways.

Be kind to yourself first. Be good to yourself first. You are who you need to stand up for - first. And that's an amazing gift, if only you can recognize it.

Perspicacious.

Law of Attraction