Kat Atwell is a freelance writer, blogger & stage presence telling stories that deliver laughs, validation & community.

Mental Health | Wellness & Self Image | Experiential & Reviews

Saucy.

I made breakfast quinoa! It has berries and honey and quinoa and I'm way more excited than I should be about consuming it tomorrow.

I might have also purchased an obscene amount of strawberries, blueberries, mangos, and a watermelon that easily weighs 18-20 pounds. Costco is so glorious.

Earlier tonight, I was totally stoked to journal, but now that I'm here, all I can think about is the quinoa and the book I want to be reading.

Oh, I had some epiphanies:

  1. Despite my belief that all people have innate goodness, this does not mean I'm obligated to force myself to try to like all people. Friday night I was talking to an amazing woman, and I mentioned someone I really like, but I don't trust, and she asked how I could be friends with someone I couldn't trust, and I didn't know. I feel obligated to be friends with likable people? Another friend noted that there is no requirement that I like everyone. I know that's easy enough for most to grasp, but I'm a people-pleaser and someone who needs a lot of affirmations. I also have to recognize that there are people out there who don't like me. And that's just the way it is. So, right now, I'm coming to terms with not being friends with someone, yet not disliking them either, per se. It's a weird dichotomy - a good one, but a weird one.
  2. I swear there was a two. Oh yes, yet another friend noted today that I have an intuition I need to trust more. If I get a bad vibe about a person, that shouldn't serve as fodder to "try harder" with them. My gut is telling me something I need to hear. It's listening-based, and being attuned with who I am.
  3. This one just struck me - up until now, I don't know if I've really made an effort at trusting myself. By the logic listed above, I wouldn't befriend me, either. I'd like me, but I wouldn't want to be close to me. Now that I've reached a place where I am starting to trust my instincts and decisions, life is flowing in a better direction. Check me out! Liking myself is helping me trust my gut when I don't need to be close with people who may take me down the wrong road.
I am digging this. OK, I need to grab my book now, and then, tomorrow, grand announcement and request for help of a major undertaking. Excitement beckons, and I'm actually looking forward to Monday. I blame the quinoa.

No good, very bad night.

I'm a lefty, but tonight I'm a writey.