Kat Atwell is a freelance writer, blogger & stage presence telling stories that deliver laughs, validation & community.

Mental Health | Wellness & Self Image | Experiential & Reviews

Quandary.

I had a talk with a friend today, about my tendency to look backwards at my life and pick it apart. Everything I read suggests I need to do that: Look back, reflect, purge, move forward. I think I've knocked down three of the four pins. He, very clearly, can see who I am on the inside. I love it, especially because I get the impression that not many people can. That might be presumptuous, but not many people listen any more - really listen.

He said I need to look forward more often and see the limitless possibilities. And, he is absolutely right. I say the same thing to my friends. I'm not quite sure why I don't take my own advice.

So, for tonight, I'm going to talk about the future.

My future involves a garden, a beautiful fence, and a happy, healthy, loving kid. She's well-adjusted and self-confident. I have a job where I know intrinsically I'm appreciated for the hard work I do. I get to travel, and see places I haven't seen. I'm more active and get out. I take hikes, I camp, I fish, I do group sports. I'm a person people want to know. I write thank you notes and have a piano, which I play. A lot. I write books and go on tours. I am known by my friends as a great cook, because I am one. I throw parties for families. I have game nights with friends. My daughter takes dance, or soccer, or theatre lessons, or draws, or plays oboe. We see our extended family more often. I feel less judged. Or, even better, I don't care that people are judging. I'm not intimidated by people in positions of authority. I take lots of pictures, which I frame and hang up everywhere. I get my teeth cleaned regularly. I'm asked to speak to people about mental health and wellness. I'm an advocate for good people. I take risks. I have faith in myself. I have faith in life in general. I sing in a choir. I have an office with a door. I ride horses. I own a cabin in the mountains. I take stairs. I take bike rides. I can recognize birds and flowers.

There's me. Someday.

Take it.

Birthday Girl in Her Birthday World.