Kat Atwell is a freelance writer, blogger & stage presence telling stories that deliver laughs, validation & community.

Mental Health | Wellness & Self Image | Experiential & Reviews

1000!

In less than two months, I've had over 1000 hits on this blog. That is outstanding and petrifying, all at the same time. The more I write, the comfortable I am with sharing it with folks that I trust.

You know, back in the early days of college, I turned to the internet for a lot of my troubles, as did thousands of others. Those of us who could type pretty closely to how we speak anyway gravitated toward each other. I know there is ugliness and time suckers all over the internet these days, but back then, it was nice to find like-minded, smart, funny, and sad people, just like myself. I had people who had no reason to pass judgment willing to talk to me. They didn't know me. I didn't know them. I'm probably fortunate I didn't run into any serious trouble online or trust someone I shouldn't have. Overwhelmingly, my online friendships and romantic relationships (yep, they happened) were and continue to be positive.

As I've grown older, the majority of my close communication has migrated to friends within driving distance. They're people I can sit down with and talk to, in person. I like eye contact. I really like physical contact, as I'm very tactile and wish I lived in Europe so I could hold hands with a friend and hug and kiss and be affectionate without having to worry about crossing boundaries or making people uncomfortable. I love outwardly. I mean, granted, I'm not going to force embraces on people who aren't touchy, but I do wish, in general, we could all let our guards down a bit more and recognize the power that manifests through contact.

I was going to link to a provocative article about the importance of touch, but everything I found was either weighed down with psychological jargon or plastered on webpages that involved a lot of soft colors and hands clasped together in a glowing light. Google it if you're interested.

Reverting back to a place where I write about things I would otherwise talk about in person or just bottle up is like trying to go back to being a person I used to be, kind of. If I could recreate that devil-may-care attitude about who read what and it's my blog so screw you kind of attitude, well, I probably wouldn't. I like to think that with age has come at least a little bit of wisdom, and while I still consider myself a more trusting person than most, I've begun to clutch a few things a little closer to my chest. Kinda goes back to the post I made a while ago about keeping a few of my own secrets sacred.

I've been in bed since before 8:00, and here it is, 9:00, and I'm actually disappointed I'm still conscious. So, time for me to make up for yesterday's late evening. Tomorrow's a new day.

Breathtaking.

You just know.