Kat Atwell is a freelance writer, blogger & stage presence telling stories that deliver laughs, validation & community.

Mental Health | Wellness & Self Image | Experiential & Reviews

Blissfully ignorant.

Even though I'm trying to be more mindful and aware, there are times when I'm really glad I miss things. Then again, I suppose there are things I miss that I really wish I hadn't. Opportunities lost are such fickle things.

If anyone can explain my sudden attraction to music hits from the seventies, let me know.

What to write about today...

A friend I spoke to after work asked me what I was going to do this evening. I have no plans. When someone asks that sort of question, I immediately shift into the mindset of things I need to do, rather than things I want to do. I'm not alone in that, I'm sure. However, I know his question was not a passive-aggressive way of suggesting I clean the bathroom upstairs, which is exactly where my brain went. Free time should be spent productively, right? And if not, I should sit immobile on the couch, doing next to nothing, and beating myself up about all the things I should be doing.

Truth be told, I am doing so, so much better than I was doing yesterday. My brain slowed. I was able to work in a different office today, and I think the change in environment helped, despite some drama that surfaced.

I really wanted to go out for a drink with friends after work. The afternoon got a bit tense, and I could have used some decompression. Then again, I came home to a tidy house, and I'm having a beer and lounging on the couch while I write. Not a bad way to spend a Tuesday evening.

There hasn't been much in the way of self-sabotage, which is great. My psychologist was encouraging me to explore the negative thoughts in my head - to get them out and onto the page. This kind of goes back to a previous paragraph: When I think about that, I actually try to pull up negative messages my brain sends to me. That's foolish.

My daughter just yelped and raced out the door. That was peculiar. Ah, a neighbor just walked by with his dogs. Lily loves those dogs.

Earlier today, I was talking to a friend about the new Canada Dry 10 and A&W 10 sodas, and suggested that perhaps they ought to come out with a soda called Cola 11. That way, in advertising, they could say, "But this one goes to eleven!" I thought it was pretty brilliant, but she didn't get it. Note to self: Make Missy watch This Is Spinal Tap.



That movie would definitely be on my Must Watch list for comedies. Others would include The Jerk, Best In Show, Better Off Dead, Three Amigos, The Big Lebowski, Coming to America, Sleeper, Young Frankenstein, Pink Panther, Blazing Saddles, Zoolander, Bridesmaids, Raising Arizona, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, Anchorman...man. I love a good comedy. This has made me want to watch movies. Lately, I've been going back to things I already own. We own all these DVDs, and all these books, and I never revisit them.

That reminds me, actually, that I want to re-read Jitterbug Perfume. I haven't read any of Tom Robbins' stuff in way too long. Great, now I want to write. I WANT TO WRITE. I am writing, right now. I want people to read what I write, but I don't want them to know it's me. That way, I can write without fear of judgment. It's a weird dichotomy - wanting to write, wanting my friends to read what I write, knowing I want to write for the benefit of myself, yet also knowing I want to entertain. Bah.

It smells like dinner is ready, so I'm off to consume.

Fulfilled.

It's a marathon, not a sprint.